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With you, St. Alban’s clergy will be reading the latest short daily passages from Show Me The Way by Henri J.M. Nouwen, and we will be offering our comments here. You are invited to post your thoughts as well. Please sign your name to any postings you make.

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Thursday, December 13, 2012

Authentic Relationships


“Jesus asks for a single-minded commitment to God and God alone.  
God wants all of our heart, all of our mind, and all of our soul.”

Gosh, today’s reading from Henri Nouwen really strikes a nerve with me.  I think about my family and friends, all the people that I deeply love in my life -  I’m supposed to love God more than all of them?  I think of my sister and her partner and my six week old baby niece (Colby Jane Sunshine!), and I wonder how I’m supposed to love something more than that precious little girl.  How is my sister supposed to love anything more than her tiny daughter?

Jesus’ claim truly is radical, and it’s very, very hard.  But what it boils down to is a warning against idolatry.  It’s an old-fashioned kind of word, but a challenge that is still very present in our lives today. To place anyone or any thing above God is to make an idol out of it.  It’s one thing to admire or cherish someone.  It’s another thing, a much more dangerous thing, to put a person on a pedestal, to revere him or her in such a way as to create inequality between ourselves and that person.  This not only does a disservice to ourselves, it also does harm to the object of our admiration because it prevents us from seeing them for who they really are.  Idolatry keeps us from having true authenticity in our relationships.  If we can keep God in God’s rightful place in our lives, then it actually frees us up to to live into our relationships with the people we love even more deeply.

We live in a world that tells us we have to choose, and if we want to place one thing at the top of our list, then inevitably everything else must be less important.  If we put God at the top, then our spouses or children or parents or friends must be less important to us.  But our generous and abundant God doesn’t operate that way.  Focusing on God doesn’t leave us with less time to focus on those we love, but rather gives us the gift of better vision and hearing with those people we cherish so we can love them even more deeply for who they truly are.

3 comments:

  1. Marjorie Manning VaughanDecember 13, 2012 at 8:26 AM

    First, Kelly, I want to thank you and all the other clergy for taking the time to sit down with us last night. The conversation was great and it seems as if people are really enjoying not only the book but the blog. It is my hope that this type of approach to discussion and learning will continue within our parish it was so great because everyone got to weigh in and express their desires and rough spots. Thanks!
    Now to more serious things!
    Being a photographer I think I understand the concept of focus pretty well. One thing I know for sure if my focus isn't right the photograph comes out fuzzy. Sometimes that is due to my part and sometimes it is due to the lighting and sometimes, at least for me, I believe that the photgraph just wasn't meant to happen because the object of my intention was too sacred.
    I believe that God should be our primary intention/focus always. But, I know that I miss the mark all the time. I get hooked into the seduction that someone/something should take my eye off the prize. When God doesn't come first then the loves that I cherish get tarnished. To love God is to be given the ability to put the love I have for others in proper perspective. I can love them more clearly, dearly. God's love is perfect love from which I can take my example even though I will never achieve it. God's love is perfect love and God's love is a gift that keeps on gifting.This Advent I am learning over and over again to continue to put things not only in a different perspective but a clearer perspective. I plan to really focus more and more on this not only with my life, loves but with my camera.

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  2. Thanks to both of you for these wonderful insights. Kelly hit the nail on the head with our difficulty in putting God before those people we so love on this earth. What the...?! But it is so true that putting God first brings everything else into perspective, allowing us to love (and be loved) even better.

    Marjorie, I love the camera metaphor!

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  3. Kelly, this is an insight which I have not had previously. Thank you veruy much.
    Bill Bell

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