Anyone going through the ordination process in the Episcopal Church is required to take a unit of Clinical Pastoral Education, usually at a hospital. I did mine at the Maine Medical Center 25 years ago. CPE involves intense study, working individually and as a group with the supervisor, writing, and visiting with patients.
One of the first patients I saw was a dear older lady who was very ill with cancer. As we sat together she began telling me about her pain and her fear. Earlier on I had noticed many pictures of her grandchildren lined up on the window sill, so I asked her about them. Soon we were talking about more cheerful things. When I left her room I was pleased that the visit had gone so well.
My supervisor was not so pleased. "Why did you ask about the grandchildren?" he asked.
"Well, I wanted to make her feel better, to take her mind off her problems."
"You weren't listening to her," he said.
"Yes, but..."
"Audrey, you weren't listening to what she was trying to tell you."
He was right. I wasn't listening to her. I was listening instead to my own agenda, to my desire to save the day, to make all the bad things disappear and to cheer her up. She wanted, and needed, to tell me what was going on in her heart and I didn't hear it.
As we moved further along in CPE I learned about listening with a "third ear." Really, truly listening not only with two ears but with that third ear that picks up nuances, that hears even a tiny catch in the throat, a wistfulness, a sadness; that is tuned into things that are left unsaid. It is about ushering God in and showing ourselves out the door of these conversations. It is holy listening - holy listening with our third ear - holy listening to each other, and to our God.
Peace be with you all,
Audrey
Audrey,
ReplyDeleteCan you hear me now? Seriously, listening is an art. CPE really brings that out by starting one out with using finger paint and then over time you hope that between you and the other person in relationship you can put together a masterpiece. Often this happens at the end of human relationships. But during this Advent we have the ability, if we desire, to just sit and listen. Listen with our hearts. Never mind the mind. I really know how to chatter. It keeps me at a distance at best. Why am I so afraid of listening to what God wants? Is that I am afraid of the task I might be asked or even expected to do? To truly listen takes guts and tenderness both. It takes you out of what your heart wants and into what God wants you to hear. Often times I am literally hard of hearing especially on the spiritual end. It is my wish that I will be able to work on my listening skills and not only hear the needs and desires of my humanity but the Word of God as Jesus comes into my midst first in the waiting and then in the reception. Audrey, can you hear me now?
Yes!!!
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