My husband, Joe, has called me the Queen of "yes...but what if?" What if such and such happens, or doesn't happen? Yes, it's sunny now, but what if that cloud way over there on the horizon brings rain to ruin our outdoor plans? Yes, the plane flight is going smoothly, but what if we run into turbulence?" You know the drill, I imagine.
It's all about control, I have decided. If I can think up all the things that can possibly happen in any given situation, then maybe, somehow, I can control the outcome, or at least be prepared for it, whatever it may be. It is a real discipline for me to try to release my grip on the steering wheel and just wait - patiently wait to let the situation spin itself out - to let God in on things!
We spend so much of our time waiting, don't we? Waiting in line at the store, waiting for that all-important correspondence, waiting for test results, waiting to hear about how that job interview went, waiting to hear the key in the door to let us know that a loved one has made it home through the ice storm. Waiting is not easy for me, as I think it probably is not easy for most people. Our minds can race to the worst possible scenario in a flash. One of the things I am working on this Advent is the art of patient waiting. I am trying to focus the passion of my fertile little mind's need to outguess the fates toward just "letting go and letting God," as the bumper sticker says. How can we hear God when the noise of our own impatience and worry drowns God out?
So for today, I will try to set aside my "yes...buts" and listen with open ear to God's requests, to God's plan. Now if I can just let go of that death grip on the steering wheel...
Advent peace to you all,
Audrey
Anxiety is the cause of many people's downfalls including mine. I think this may sound more like social work than expectation and not being able to just wait for God to do what God wants and for us to wait not knowing what the outcome of God's request for us will be. There is a real price to pay for anxiety--healthwise, emotionally and patience. Patience is such a difficult concept to get your head around never mind following through with it. I too am trying to learn how to wait. Good things are worth waiting for and the relationship that we have with God is always worth the wait. But we have gotten use to in this society for the need for instant gratification. Instant coffee instead of waiting for brewed etc. The waiting part of Advent has to be one of the greatest tests of our abilities to be in true relationship with God. Relationships built over time are much more fruitful, gifted and giving. Relationship based on solid love, anticipation and care take time to grow with a friend, loved one or partner. But it is worth it. And if it is worth it with someone you can see it is worth it with God who is watching us at all times. This Advent I am working on my anxiety. I am working toward having a more solid relationship with God because at the end of Advent just for the waiting I will see the baby Jesus who is the greatest gift of all to all humankind.
ReplyDeletePreach, I say! Both of you are preaching the word! Especially to me, who will also own to sliding down the slippery slope of anxiety on the regular.
ReplyDeleteI was sussing around online for some communications stuff for St. Peter's and discovered this lovely video that seemed very much on theme for Audrey's post. It's a 3 minute clip of Diana Butler Bass talking about why waiting (especially in Advent) is so important.
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/faithforward/2012/12/voices-of-advent-diana-butler-bass-on-waiting-on-god/
Thanks for this Kelly; I loved what she had to say, especially her reflection on O Come O Come Emmanuel - just letting those verses sink in as we approach Christmas.
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